


For Those Who Smile in Dark Times

by Raggamaninof



Category: Young Avengers
Genre: Family, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-15
Updated: 2013-10-15
Packaged: 2017-12-29 12:38:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1005550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raggamaninof/pseuds/Raggamaninof
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes its the small crack at the bottom of the dam that finally makes it break.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Those Who Smile in Dark Times

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Cris-Art A](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/29155) by Cris-Art. 



In life sometimes it’s the small things that mean everything, and it was days like today that made Teddy realize this. The big picture was painful to him; it had been months since the death of his teammates and the beginning of Billy’s depression and nothing had changed. He felt as every day the sound of Cassie’s voice disappeared from his mind a bit more, how suddenly Vision was becoming such a distant image in his memories and no matter how hard he tried they faded away like sand through his fingers. They faded slowly and painfully, as if they were a painting in his mind that someone was pulling a silk cloth over, you could see it behind, you could tell the shapes and know who they were but all the same they were farther than you ever thought they would be. And then there was Billy. Billy, B, William, his other half, his love, his boyfriend. From the moment that boy he loved so much settled himself like a wounded bird at the window, staring out to into the world with empty eyes. 

Teddy was almost used it already, waking up with dread as he felt his heart grow heavy and getting out of bed only because his body was used to it. Because he had to go see if he was still there, still unmoving, still silent, even if he knew the result he still went, he still awaited a miracle. But it had yet to come, for every morning he went and every morning there he was, his one and only love, more a shell than an actual person, sitting there with nothing inside. Had he forgotten about him yet? Did Billy even remember he had someone here waiting for him, someone that held back tears at night and brought him food even if he wouldn’t eat it and read to him even when he knew he wasn’t listening? Teddy wondered that sometimes. The big picture ate at his soul night and day; the big picture was all he saw until today. 

Today when Teddy walked into the Kaplan house hold as he did every day after going to school. He said hello to the twins and to Tommy who sat in the kitchen eating a snack. The last hello was more out of habit than an actual greeting, he said hello to Billy as he walked over to him and kissed him softly on the head. He didn’t move, Teddy didn’t expect him to. He walked back to the kitchen where Tommy sat, eating one of his six peanut butter sandwiches at inhuman speed. Teddy was about to grab a pear as he usually did but froze when he saw something different. There were red apples, the ones that Billy loved the most, in the fruit basket. The Kaplans had quit buying them since nobody other than Billy ate them, and with Billy not eating anything to begin with, it wasn’t worth spending the money to watch the apples rot. He picked the largest one from the fruit basked at the end of the table and bit into it,

“How was school?” he asked. Tommy shrugged, which was the common response from someone like him. He was one of those people who loved teasing but was easily bothered when someone teased him back. He had a snappy and sarcastic side, and then a darker more serious and detached side. Ever since the whole mess began, the snappy and sarcastic side had disappeared. All Teddy saw was the dark side of him, the one that didn’t care that his brother was sitting in the window without saying a word and almost acted like he couldn’t remember that his teammates were dead. He acted almost as if he had never met them in the first place. It hurt Teddy but he said nothing, he knew that was the only way the speedster could ever deal with all the pain. 

Teddy knew he wouldn’t ask back so he continued eating his apple until he was done with the sweet outside, then he swallowed the core whole. He munched at it loudly, Tommy had finished a while ago but he stood there silently.

“How can you do it?” he asked suddenly and softly. As if he didn’t want anyone to hear he said a word. Teddy was silent for a moment,

“What? Oh, the apple, I don’t know, I guess I’m just used to it.”

“Not the apple you fool, the whole act you put up every day.” Tommy hissed, “It’s sickening.” Teddy looked back at his friend with a smile on his face but with eyes full of sorrow,

“You convince yourself you love him more than you’ll ever love yourself, and that he’s really all you have left.” He said softly. Teddy turned away to walk towards the living room when he felt a strong hand grip his shirt and whirl him around at the speed of light. Two bright green orbs stared directly into his,

“Why would you do that? Is there even a point? You could be out there, WE could be out there, we could be superheroes and all you do is let my depressed so-called-brother be your excuse to mop around!” Tommy hissed quickly, almost too quick to understand, but Teddy got every single word and the venom that each one contained. Teddy stared back, Tommy hadn’t snapped since everything had happened and he knew he would sometime but not like this, not for this reason. 

“I love him,” he managed to croak out before the front door of the house opened, announcing the arrival of Mr. Kaplan. Tommy let go of Teddy and ran upstairs quicker than Teddy could register. Teddy sighed and put on another fake smile as Mr. Kaplan came into the kitchen. After small chat Teddy excused himself and went upstairs. He went to Tommy and his room first, surely enough the speedster was there.

“I’m not apologizing,” he said as Teddy entered. The blonde shrugged,

“I can’t make you,” he stated simply. Tommy felt as the weight of the bed shifted and Teddy sat next to him. The silence between them wasn’t heavy; it wasn’t like some thick fog that made them suffocate. It was empty, empty like everything in their lives seemed to be, and he couldn’t take it.

“Aren’t you tired of it?” He asked softly. Teddy was silent,

“Of course I am, but I’m not leaving him… would you?” Teddy answered in a small voice. Tommy chuckled but it sounded almost like a choked in sob. Teddy didn’t know what to do, but watching Tommy so vulnerable suddenly made his heart ache. It was almost the same face Billy made when he was upset. Teddy let his emotions take over for a second as he placed his hand on Tommy’s shoulder, slowly and hesitantly. Slow enough to make sure the speedster approved, which he did in silence. There they sat as Tommy swallowed the emotions that had began to surface and Teddy watched with unlimited patience and attention.

“Let’s go, I need to kick your ass in street fighter to feel better,” Tommy said with a small smile. Teddy returned, it was slightly genuine but still fake altogether. The two boys stood up and walked towards Billy’s room where the controllers and consoles were. Teddy knocked before coming in and he always did and Tommy almost punched him for it. When there was no answer they let themselves in. The silent and still figure sat at the window, almost like a dead corpse being found for the first time. Teddy tried not to look at his lover but he found it impossible as he looked up and felt as pain stabbed his heart once again. He would never get used to seeing Billy like this, he couldn’t. The boys sat down and Tommy quickly turned on all the devices before choosing the game and starting the rounds. Teddy went through the whole process mechanically, barely paying attention to what was going on. The round started and Tommy beat Teddy within seconds. The same happened in every round but Tommy didn’t get tired and Teddy wasn’t thinking. Tommy played faster and faster with more aggressively as he pushed and turned the controller’s buttons and joystick, his anger building up in him the more he realized Teddy wasn’t even trying. He never tried; he was a coward, even now in this stupid game he didn’t stand up for himself. All for that idiot who sat there not giving a shit about the world around him, Tommy couldn’t take it.

Teddy sat there as he tried to aimlessly move his character before he got beaten mercilessly by Tommy. His head was spinning, how did he do it? How had he not snapped yet? How did he bottle up the pain of watching Billy sit there? And today, the apples were right there, he could almost see Billy eating one and making a face when Teddy swallowed up the core. He could see the sad face he made that was so similar to Tommy when he was in his room. He could see Billy sitting next to them, laughing at how Tommy destroyed Teddy time after time… his laughter… it was a memory now, but it was so far away, it was almost like someone had pulled a silk cloth over the sound of Billy’s laughter. Teddy’s heart nearly stopped at that thought and the only think that shook him out of the trance was the silence that filled the air. Teddy took a second to realize Tommy’s character wasn’t beating him up anymore and that for once the room was silent. Tommy was looking at him with wide eyes and Teddy slowly turned to meet his gaze.

“What…?” he asked so silently, Tommy could barely hear it. Tommy’s pale hand went up slowly and hesitantly before he wiped something wet off of Teddy’s cheek. Teddy gasped as he quickly brought his hand to his face and touched water. His lips were suddenly covered in salty tears and it took him a moment to realize he was crying. But he couldn’t cry, not with Billy right there, not with his love so near to him, his love who couldn’t see him anyway, you couldn’t hear him, who didn’t love…… Teddy broke at that thought. 

His mouth opened into a mute sob as tears began to stream down his cheeks by dozens. 

“Oh, no,” Was all Tommy could say before he put his hand on Teddy’s head and tried to stroke his hair, to calm him down but there was no going back . Teddy hid his face into his right hand and felt as the tears continued to fall, his body slouching forward and his chest holding the pressure of his breath. He was afraid if he breathed then his sobs would fill the room. Tommy closed his eyes and felt as the grief inside of him bubbled up again but he kept still. He simply leaned into Teddy and held him there, next to him, his hand still on the blonde’s head. 

“Come on,” he said quickly, he hauled the huge boy to his feet and pulled him out of the room towards their own. As soon as they were inside Tommy closed the door and turned to see Teddy run to his bed, fall to his knees and bury his head into his pillow. The sound that followed was so grieving that Tommy would never forget it. The muffled sob that was released into the green pillow was so miserable; it made his heart twist.

“Oh God Teddy,” he began to say as he watched the poor boy sob all his emotions out. He walked over and kneeled next to him, placing an arm around his shoulders. “I won’t leave him, I won’t leave any of you, I promise ok? Just, shit, just stop it!” Tommy hissed, but he let Teddy cry on. And in the room across the hall from them the still body sat at the window and stared outside with empty eyes. But his eyes were different now, for they were too filled with tears.


End file.
